Ineffable Ontological Detanglement

"Oh but testosterone said he was going to protect me, he said, he said everything is handled you just be soft and gentle that's what he said. He said you'll never need to worry about any of the harsh aspects of reality you don't even really need to feel they exist you just be innocent." We do all want to rape you, that's just what testosterone does. You can see it in our eyes, you can especially see it any time we begin engaging in flirting. It's going to happen again. It's crashing down upon you every time you leave the house.

It is true, though. A lot of men carry an inner "It probably wouldn't be the worst thing if I raped her." Especially in America, eastern Europe, Latin America, and very very much especially in the Middle East. And feminine intuition is reasonably good at hitting the creep reflex, however a lot of you women just assume this creep reflex is to apply to the entire concept of testosterone, and, no, nothing about testosterone really wants to rape you. Really high testosterone with an incorrect philosophical base wants to rape you, really high testosterone in general does not want to rape you, really high testosterone with a correct philosophical base however on certain medication may want to rape you. A man who would flirt with a stranger is not necessarily a creep, but four fifths of the time he is a creep. The proper definition of creep, as you have always assumed, is, he is holding an inner "It probably wouldn't be the worst thing if I raped her." Release yourself entirely from all feelings of presumed feminine innocence and all feelings of sexual repression and the idea of this happening to you becomes a lot less frightening. Estrogen is not telling you to be innocent and protected, society is telling you to be innocent and protected, it just looks a lot like this is the biological framework due to the starting base of cave man societal structure. I'm not telling you you're supposed to like it, but within proper thinking it isn't going to destroy you. You never need to take any of it in, none of this was you. No, not even if you appear to be very inviting. That's a thing estrogen actually does tell you to do, it's only natural to you, hint at your sexuality. It wasn't supposed to be a trap but at the moment it appears to be a trap.

You are disgusting. Eyugh. Just picturing you as a little fat girl masturbating to your father, we enjoy giggling about it. It makes us feel very pure. You still kinda want to do it, don't you? You were probably so innocent and confused that in a lot of ways you invited him in, didn't you? In some ways... You kind of wanted it, didn't you? Well, now look what you've done to yourself. Do you really expect any of us to validate any aspect of you or your life with this little incident in your past?

You're fine. Your father is not fine. Society is not fine. You are quite likely the only person in your life who gets to come out of this pure and innocent. Chances are even the people who are telling you it's okay are doing disgusting things to you internally. With psychedelics you can free yourself of everything everyone but you has done to you and then forced you to do to yourself. Remove yourself entirely from the world of your father, every little aspect of yourself within the moments of engagement with your father and everything that developed out of that base, I'm afraid you must also remove yourself from your engagements with your mother and your siblings for they were there along with you in the world of your father, hopefully they can follow you to freedom however if they cannot you must leave them behind. There is a biological drive to love your father, once you've completed the process you must put a lock of ignore over this urge, your thoughts will never touch this aspect of your mind that tells you to love your father. "But there are aspects of my father that I still like, there are aspects of what he has taught me to become that I still like." You have to get rid of it, you don't have a choice, you either get to have purity or you get to have the acknowledgement of your father. If you did masturbate to your father, you were a confused little girl, this is still you within the world of your father. If you did it all the time and kind of liked it, if you still kind of drift towards doing it, I'm afraid you're leaving yourself fewer options within attaining purity from your father, you still have a lot of introspection work ahead of you, this one you're never going to forget no matter how much you change. You're left with two imprints... Urge to hurt people, urge to be a slut. You're hot. Have no tolerance for anybody who wishes to touch the conversation of you being raped by your father with their society penis.

...Haha you were raped by a man you faggot... ...Oh I bet you wanna touch yourself to it you faggot...

On the outside, he was the baddest meanest motherfucker of the criminal underworld. Now forever he knows he is king faggot. "I can't... Go... Another three years without sex... AAHHH... Masturbation not cutting it... I needs hole... No this hole in mattress not doing it either... Hole needs be a person. OKAY, I know what do in these situations, I've been doing this entire life. Find the butt. Okay there's a butt. I can sorta make this butt a woman butt in my brain. HUUURRRRR FOUND 'DA BUTT. Okay. Okay. Uhh... Don't... Know... Uhhh... Now... Uuhhh... Okay what we're going to need to do is form a little club. In our own little world. We've officially declared our own little world. We have set the rules, inside of prison all of you outside of our own little world inside of our own little world understand that within prison all of the rules have become entirely altered, this is an entirely different world. For some reason... We all just know this is an entirely different world, we are within an entirely different plane of existence. Everybody KNOWS our club is dominant. We dominate. NOT BECAUSE... Of faggot bedroom dominatrix games, NO, because... We're POWERFUL. Big and POWERFUL." Alright, well, you were stupid enough to do this, I guess you're probably stupid enough to not know what to do with yourself in another three months or so when you get out of prison. Not that there's anything you would really be able to do about it. You rape trauma'd yourself a hell of a lot more than you rape trauma'd that other guy, you didn't dominate him. For no reason. No you did some other thing. I don't even know why you people bother when it's only like a five year sentence, if this is the rest of your life you form the rest of your life prison culture, if this is five years there's absolutely no reason for you to declare yourself, you just... Fend yourself. Fend yourself from people like you. IF EVERYBODY COULD JUST BE CIVIL, this fucking experience would go by a hell of a lot easier.

Oh my God you're gay. Being raped by your father is for GIRLS. What a weird thing to do you're a weird guy. Fucking how do you live with yourself? Weird little penis diddling freak.

The psychedelic process for attaining purity from your father is the same as it is for ladies, I'm not going to colour it blue for you. The weird little dementing that it has driven into you is only partially, if anything at all, "At least if it were my mother who raped me it would have been straight." If this ever cracked the conscious level the only thing you can ever do is dark comedy it, I hope you didn't cry at it, if you cried at it you were seriously all fucked up confused. Most of it is simply "This kind of thing doesn't happen to men. We know how to protect ourselves. I was weak." That's you as a boy who wants to be a man, as a man you understand you were a boy.

You were given a taste of the dark underside. You were not supposed to retain your happy floaty innocent sensibilities after being given a taste of the dark underside, that's what did it to you. Dark slut, now you're a dark slut you don't give no fucks. "Oh now you just go around having sex with people, it's like you're admitting to AND embracing your damage, that is an incredibly fucked up thing to do. You're just admitting to all of us happy floats that it's okay to have bad things happen to you, that's what you're telling us. This is what you look like, you go around having sex with men after you're raped, you prove all of our society points for us. You're clearly oblivious to what you're doing, you're clearly all fucked up in the head."