Ineffable Ontological Detanglement .: Introspective Assistance & Mental Analysis Manual
Oh there's ANOTHER SIDE to ABANDONMENT is there!? NO. You have to leave it... You have to leave it forever... Maintain it forever...
Sometimes you need to abandon your kids, it's the only way it could be. Level two cognitive functioning struggles with this the hardest. The potential mass murderer uncle turned drugs hippie, the one from this story and this story. The woman he married was in love with who he used to be, the turmoil caused by keeping this family together far outweighs the turmoil caused by splitting it apart. That's the logical justification. It doesn't matter, he can't stand this batshit woman, societal education dictates that in all situations, the happy oblivious delusional reality of the children outweighs all marital issues.
As an adult, you need to let it go. Move on. Who he is doesn't matter to you anymore, he's made the cut. You've picked up a life darkness that makes you more interesting. If you ever find out who he really was and what really happened, you may find yourself enlightened to the nature of life. If you don't, you may well find yourself twisting wretched. You're on your own now, you're abandoned, you have to figure out the harsh realities of life for yourself, this man can't do anything for you, it's impossible to broach.
OH so I'm supposed to be OKAY with he chose HIMSELF over his CHILDREN? What's happening here is you are still a child, you're locked in by trauma. Whatever you can use to maintain.
There's no way. There's no way to maintain contact and attempt to be a father. He hates you too, you were raised by this woman, now you're raised by this woman against him. Even if you think you can get over your upbringing and hate your mother as well, you were still raised by this woman, you were still raised by this woman against him. All attempts to come be your father are met with the understanding that all he's trying to do is salvage his ego. You're a meh. You're a meh, and I can't help but agree. Stop throwing my cat. No our grandmother did not take it too far. Yes she speaks cryptic, "You're just like your father" has about three to five layers of you'll never get it. No there's no chance our grandfather would ever decide to only properly remember you on his deathbed, you're a horrible pathological liar you don't understand how ta' play tha' game the rules are so obvious. Yeah I know, you've cleaned it up since you were a teenager... No you haven't, you've flattened it into psychosis.
He got his. Karma gave him his, he lost the true love of his life to pain killers and alcohol. But you didn't get to see that, you don't believe you're within the process. All you want is... HAHA CRY CRY CRY ASSHOLE. You didn't get it... This was resolution. This was your opportunity to become an adult. This isn't about him anymore, this is about you. He's haunted, that's all you need.
If the person is not haunted, know that they are destroying themselves. You can't pull it off without being forever haunted. The semi-conscious process begins with well into broken never be the same again haunted, with enough marijuana and psychedelic introspection you can get it down to anywhere from mildly to severely haunted, depending on the day. On severe days, you have to let the man have his alcohol, it isn't avoidance methods it's proper medication. It hurts you more than it hurts him. I'm speaking cryptic. But... It shouldn't matter to you anymore, as an adult, this is about you. Nobody but a psychologist gets to tell you.
At this point I don't think anybody would judge you for putting the psychedelic lock of ignore on biological urges to love your own daughter. The that one, not the other one the other one is fine. As far as what you do on the other side of this, no nobody is telling you that you need to learn to respect the decision and love him, though in this case I think you should probably find it a little, all you require is the emotional drop, to you he is gone you practice no thought towards him.